Technically, I used to be an 'incel' myself, although I would always have avoided the online incel groups like any health hazard. (I am still liable to dark fantasies, but I keep them out of reality.) Nowadays, being informed about autism and my health generally, I know why I was uneasy about tackling serious relationships. The casual variety never drew me - I have never felt the need to do vice signalling for my self-promotion.
Well before philosophy podcasts introduced me to Carol Gilligan and the ethics of care, I had been a part carer for my aging and disabled mother. Later her condition reached the stage of needing professional care beyond anything I could manage even accompanied by an outside 'care package'. Now my mother has passed away, philosophy is my main connection with this although I do have my own support package.
On being pushed to think about it, I agree strongly with Gilligan's later realisation that care and justice are related. Justice and the law cannot provide care in themselves, but they are an essential underpinning for standards of care, not least in preventing abuse. As so often (more often than philosophers usually realise) it is the negative that shows things clearly. We come to understand the link between care and justice (social or individual) when injustice is present.
Out of recent French philosophers Gilles Deleuze makes more sense to me on this than Levinas's claim that we are bound by our existence to care for the other(s). Deleuze's social perspective can recognise caring takes resources the individual carer is unlikely to possess alone, and that crises in society, like wars or pandemics, increase the care burden for everyone.